Mom. Guilt. Sucks.
I want to talk about “Mom Guilt” because let me tell ya, it is a real thing. Instead of this blog being about how much it sucks and all the ways I have felt guilty in my new life as a mom- I will keep that portion brief- I want to focus on how to flip the script on guilt and feel confident in your abilities.
My dream has always been to be a stay at home mom. My mom was one and looking back I loved being with her. When I speak to her all these years later she still shines when she talks about how valuable it was to her. But, the timing was just not right after having Avery, so she started daycare in August. Oh. Wow. I felt like a toddler- I cried more than one time about “not getting my way” and being able to stay home with her. I then carried around guilt about leaving her and let that cloud my abilities to be a wife, a mother, and a coworker while I struggled to grasp this new season of my life.
After lots of tears, plenty of pep talks from my hubby, and honestly some reflection on all that I do have to be grateful for, I shook away that feeling and decided to accept that the time was not right now. Now, this is not saying that I do not ever wish that I could find a “money tree!” I choose to focus on the light in my life and not the darkness. This being said some days are still hard!
Being a daughter, sister, friend, nurse, wife, and now mother there are times that I feel stretched a little thin. I love the analogy about wearing multiple hats, but I spin it and like to reference “owning multiple hats.” For me, I think of all my “titles” as my hats. These titles express who I am, but I don’t have to wear them all at once. For example: I am always a mom, 100% of the day, and I carry that title proudly, but when I drop Avery off at daycare I then become a nurse; and that does not mean I love her any less because of having to change hats. I am learning to not let guilt cast a shadow over my other roles. I think we get so wrapped up in trying to be the best version of ourselves, especially as parents, that we forget that our hats get worn out and may need some repair. If you don’t repair or mend your hats they will without a doubt unravel. I urge you to throw away the “guilt hat” and do something that brings you joy and recharge. Go out on a date night with your honey, grab a cup of coffee with a friend, or even just head to your favorite outdoor spot and read a book. You should not feel guilty for wearing a hat that represents your individualism, you will be a better partner, parent, friend, and family member if you feel whole as an individual.
Have you ever felt guilty as a parent, spouse, family member, or friend? What did you do to change your mindset or recharge?
Have a relaxing weekend! 👋🏼